Parenting Strategies for De-Stressing the Holidays by Paula Statman, M.S.S.W.

Parenting is a tough balancing act. It’s even tougher at holiday time, when all the excitement can have a negative impact on children. Having a flexible approach, setting priorities, and spending your time, energy, and money wisely will help keep kids’ stress at bay and make the holidays enjoyable for the whole family.

Holiday Stress is Contagious

It’s not realistic for parents to expect children to relax when they are running around like crazy, shopping, baking, decorating, and becoming stressed at the thought of blowing the holiday budget after just one trip to the mall.

If parents are experiencing an increase in stress then so are their children. Children reflect the mood of the household and the ideas and values of the family. So if the parents are spinning out of control, the kids will spin out of control, too.

How to Manage Kids’ Stress

1. Adjust Attitudes and Manage Expectations

Have a discussion before the holiday season begins. Pledge to make the holiday season a time of love and peace, not a time focused on material goods and gifts. Talk to your children about the true meaning of the holiday season depending on your faith and heritage.

Kids need some degree of control and predictability. Prolonged uncertainty, constantly changing plans or last minute decisions can all increase stress. Include your children in holiday planning sessions, and let them know the final details well in advance. This will give them a chance to prepare themselves emotionally for the visits, dinners and other running around of the season.

Holiday shopping can be overwhelming for kids, so help them decide in advance who to buy for, what to buy and how much to spend. Or even better, discuss with your kids how they can make appropriate gifts for family and friends.

Manage your kids’ expectations. Don’t promise things you can’t produce. For example, don’t promise a parent will be home in time for the holidays if the decision is really out of your control. Don’t try and compensate for an absent family member with lots of gifts. What most kids really want is your time and attention.

| Continued >>